The Gonzo Think Tank

Entries from March 2008

Noxious number: five-pronged State smackdown

March 28, 2008 · Leave a Comment

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The tally of former U.S. Secretaries of State calling for the Guantanamo Bay prison camp to be closed. The group of Republicans and Democrats – Colin Powell, Henry Kissinger, James Baker III, Warren Christopher and Madeleine Albright – also want dialog with Iran.

Meanwhile, the ostrich Bush keeps his head in the sand and the destroyed interrogation tape case takes another negative turn.

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Show me you’re tougher

March 27, 2008 · 2 Comments

The southwest Missouri town of Carthage has an organization for 6-year-olds to compete in ultimate fighting.

What’s next? Conceal and carry permits at age 15?

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Father Tommy Bloomer believes his two sons in the “Garage Boys” learn valuable life lessons from the fisticuffs.

 ”We’re not training them for dog fighting,” Bloomer, a 34-year- old construction contractor, told the Associated Press. “As a parent, I’d much rather have my kids here learning how to defend themselves and getting positive reinforcement than out on the streets.”

Positive reinforcement like, “Kick his ass, Jimmy Bob!”

Whatever happened to youth soccer leagues with yummy orange slices?

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Bicep-sized brain

March 27, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Jose Canseco still might carry two baseball-sized biceps, but, at heart, he is a small, spiteful boy.

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In his new book, the former home run hitter says he introduced Alex Rodriquez to a steroids dealer. Considering the revealed truths from his first book, this could be legitimate.

Then Canseco gets cheap. He writes about how A-Rod was, meanwhile, trying to sleep with Canseco’s wife.

Canseco didn’t include A-Rod in the first book because, he “hated the bastard” and didn’t want his objectivity questioned.

Now, I guess, that doesn’t matter.

Canseco wrote: “So A-Rod, if you’re reading this book, and if I’m not getting through to you, let’s get clear on one thing: I hate your f***ing guts.”

Classy stuff. I’m glad this petty, pretty boy came 38 home runs shy of 500.

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(Nice shirt.)

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Flicker

March 25, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Replacing the all-star Torii Hunter with the 22-year-old Carlos Gomez in centerfield, and journeyman Livan Hernandez filling in for Cy Young winner Johan Santana as the opening-day starter doesn’t exactly pique my Twins interest this season.

That said, I did like the three-year contract given to closer Joe Nathan on Monday. It still means he could be moved come the trading deadline, but at least they showed a flicker of wanting to compete at a high level — albeit the 2010 season.

The bleak state of Minnesota sports has put my fandom in atrophy.

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Old (and no) school

March 20, 2008 · Leave a Comment

If your campaign platform is national security, you should be well-versed in the Sunni-Shia makeup in Iraq.

Apparently not.

John McCain, the Arizona senator and presumptive Republican presidential candidate, fumbled that Al Qaeda is a Sunni-dominated group, and Iran is a predominantly Shiite nation while in Amman, Jordan on Tuesday.

With the war entering its sixth year, I don’t want four more with McCain at the helm.

Two other interesting notes:

  • The Iraq war has lasted longer than the American civil war, World War I and World War II, but, obviously, not fought as intensely.
  • Twice as many Iraqi security forces have been killed in the war than American soldier casualties.

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