Feeling gloomy

It’s nearly basketball season, but I’m sick like its allergy season.


I went to the doctor. He asked prodding questions to discover:


I’ve ignored any content about the Timberwolves’ prognosis not because of their promised futility, but because I’m ill with gang green.


The doc clarified his diagnosis. This rare disease can be confused with gangrene, the decay of body tissue in extremities, and that is understandable because gang green has the same rotting effect on unconditional and unfounded love – often found in sports fans.


The doc told me the major pain inflicted from gang green is paralysis of your basketball consciousness after images of Kevin Garnett in Celtic green reach your retina, brain and heart.


Exposure to the strain starts in small doses: Sportscenter clips, a Sports Illustrated picture.


The pervasive image of KG smiling in a different color than Wolves blue has symptoms that include plagued thoughts on your 2007-08 outlook.


A complication is an overall empty feeling inside.


After wallowing in pain, I cried out, “the Wolves were a bad team with KG, but at least they had a soul!”


Sadly, the doc said the only effective prescription (Al Jefferson) is time released and requires multiple treatments.


Send your condolences, 



P.S. The doc gave me one bit of good news. A physical therapist (Bill Raftery) will soon alleviate part of my condition with some soothing words of encouragement.


His alternative medicine will surely help.


I’ll take a double dose of “Take it to the tin, big fella!”


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