… Chicka-chica-yeah, chica-yew, chicka-yeka-whoo …
Gonzo’s Top 10 use-my-leg-as-a-tampon lines from Super Bad:
No. 10. I got a bonnnerr. … Oh my god, it’sss inN. …
9. Well, at least you got to suck on your dad’s dick.
8. You ever see a vagina by itself? Uhhhm, that shit ain’t for me. … It’s like seeing a clown on the street in the middle of the night.
7. I’m going to be over at State where the girls are 1/2 as smart, therefore, twice as likely to fellasche me.
6.So I’m finishing up this big, veiny, triumphant motherfucker. … This lunch-box, dick-drawing treasure chest.
… For-sho, FO-shho. I be gettin’ that fo-sho. …
5. I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it And it feels awesome.
4. I’m not going to dance around it, she looks like a good fucker. … Some women pride themselves on their dick-taking abilities.
3. The funny thing about my back is it’s located on my cock.
2. Now, c’mon, I gotta take a piss and my dick ain’t gonna shake itself. C’mon babe.
1. I had a general outline. I was going to go down on her for Several hours. She would love that. She would be smitten by that. She would go Out with that. Or I’d dry hump the shit out of her leg.
A. You’ve got such a smooth cock.
Yea. You would too, if you were a man.
B. You got like 12 hand jobs.
And like 3/4 of a blow job, but who’s counting?
C. Your partner didn’t come today?
Ah, that’s a personal question.
Oh, I get it. cUm!ming. Hay. Heya. Hewwwyyuk.
… Hellll, yeah! We should get some road beerrsz. … Redunk. … These eyes cry every niight for youuoo. … The hurtin’ is on me now. You gave a promise to me, yea. And you broke it. you broke it. These eyYess! Are Cryyin’! These eyes have seen a lotta love, but they’re never gonna see another one like the one I had with you! These Ey-es, Are Cryin’! Thesseeee eeyyyes harrr. pewww…. Show these fuckers how we roll! … I have like the highest drinking tolerance out of all our friends. I’m like a Viking. *@#! … Then she gave me a handski. … It looks like a division sign. … My first wife, who is a whore, by the way. … We should be guiding his cock. Not blocking it. … Making seman snowballs. … P in the V-G. … Broken Arrow Oklahoma.
… Chigga, chicca, yea-yeah!
I just want to go to the rooftops and scream I love yu-
… The joys of onomatopoeia (yuck!) and swine semantics.
The ’70s garb made me thing of this disingeuous devil. …
*@#! notes special double secret honorable mention.