Chimp Change

According to basketball protocol, when a team is enduring a severe blowout loss, it is wiser to rest for the next game once a comeback is ruled out.

Despite an over 20-point deficit in the pre-West Virginia-primary polls, Barack Obama decided to not only use a full-court press, but commit a flagrant foul on Monday.

He wore a personally-blasphemous flag pin!

Obama hadn’t previously wore one and was routinely lambasted by pundits for the decision during debates and commentaries. Until Monday, he justly fought back, saying that his patriotism didn’t need to be showcased with a cheesy pin. (Note: He still got trounced in the Tuesday’s primary, despite the half-court, I’m-a-working-class-guy shot.)

So much for taking a principled stance on an otherwise non-issue. The Illinois senator fell into the old political game that he once said he was above. (So much for change.) Now, he can no longer criticize Hillary Clinton of pandering to voters for her plan to suspend the gas tax. 

As Kurt Vonnegut said about politicians in “Breakfast of Champions;” “They [are] all formlessly enthusiastic chimpanzees …”



2 responses to “Chimp Change

  1. Blake Hendrickson

    I’d love to smoke a ciggy with O’bama! At least you know he’s a real person with vices. On that note, one can’t be trusted who doesn’t drink, unless they’re all sobered up in which case they’re exempt from the previously stated proposition.
    What? You don’t want to wear the ribbon?

  2. you do realize that picture of obama smoking is a fake right?

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